What were we thinking?
Your dad's head is on a bit straighter than mine, though I suppose we each excel at different things in other ways.
It didn't take a lot of throwing caution to the unpredictable wind, but at least now your mom knows she isn't broken and your dad is pretty sure he's some kind of superhero.
I'm sure you aren't interested in knowing this kind of thing, but for posterity's sake, my, erm, monthly visitor didn't show at her usual appointed time which sent me into a shivering, praying frenzy. I made it to work without losing sight of the road but I was only there for about an hour before I popped back up out of my desk and ran to the drug store for a test.
I sat in my car for a second trying to figure out if I should test in the Food and Fuel bathroom or the McDonald's bathroom ... I couldn't do it back at work, at the school. Too weird. I decided that, if you were here, I'd hate to tell you later on that I found out I was pregnant in a dirty gas station bathroom. Paw-Paw lives in the same town as my work and he always told me I could go over there during the day if I needed anything, so I took him up on that offer and decided to test there.
Waiting for the results to show up was agonizing, and when the second line started to show up it honestly just looked like a shadow. I didn't believe it. Until, of course, it started to turn pink. I don't think I said anything ... I might have whispered, "Oh my gosh," a few times.
I went back outside and sat in my car outside Paw Paw's house. The first person I called was Lori, but she wasn't there, so I took a picture of the test and sent it to her. Next I called Andrea, followed by a call to Sarah, and then a text to Emily. They were all excited, excited, excited. Then I told one co-worker at school, a lady named Kim, and one co-worker from my company. Her name is Heidi. Last but definitely not least, I told my friend Megan in Alaska. All of them were very ecstatic for me, and promised to keep my secret as well as serve as a female support group in the event anything were to go wrong and you decided not to join our family after all.
That was perhaps the longest day of work I've ever endured! I couldn't wait to get home and tell Dad.
When the day was finally over, I drove home and found Dad playing video games with our friend and roommate Jason. I had no problem with Jason knowing about you, but I wanted to let Dad decide if Jason should know or not, so I was hoping that I'd be able to talk to Dad alone.
I leaned up against him on the couch and he put his arm around me. He continued to play his video games, and in the meantime, I texted him from where I sat right next to him. "I need to talk to you alone."
He texted back, "Why?"
I replied with, "Don't be daft, boy!"
After some nudging on his behalf I discreetly showed him the picture I'd taken of the test on my phone. He finally paused the game.
"Are you serious? No. You're joking. Is that real? Seriously? This is a joke isn't it? Do you know for sure? How do you know? This is a joke!"
Jason had no idea what was going on, so Dad told me I could go ahead and show Jason my phone ... and then the three of us had the craziest, cheesiest grins ever.
Dad could not stop kissing me and hugging me and smiling and telling me he was happy!
There was a lot of auxiliary chatter and Jason treated us to dinner at Puerto Vallarta. (He was on a diet at the time and decided to cheat on it, just for you!)
After dinner, we went to Great-Grandpa's church. Grandma was in the youth church, so we went to look for her. When we found her we took her into the worship room alone and made her close her eyes and hold out her hands.
Earlier that week, Grandma had loaned me $20 for gas, so she thought I was putting the $20 in her hands to pay her back. But instead, I put the test in her hands. She opened her eyes and squealed! She kept saying, "No! Oh my gosh, really!?" in disbelief. Her squeal made me laugh but kinda startled me too, so I jumped behind your dad. He asked me why I was hiding!
Needless to say, Grandma was super happy. So next we wanted to tell Great-Grandma and Great-Grandpa. We found them at home, and Great-Grandma was on the computer. We did the same thing to them, asking them to close their eyes, and Great-Grandma opened her hands.
But she did NOT want to play that game. She kept trying to peek because she thought we were going to put a bug in her hand or something! So Grandma had to put her hands over her eyes, and when we finally put the test in her hands she squealed and jerked away!
Then they opened their eyes and Great-Grandma took a look at what she was holding, realizing that it was not a bug or anything gross, after all. In fact she said, "What is this ... a thermometer?"
We laughed pretty hard at that before she realized that we'd handed her the test.
Great-Grandma was very happy and Great-Grandpa kept saying, "Well isn't that something."
We spent some time together and then Great-Grandpa prayed over us, to remind God that we believed that everything would be okay, and that you would stay with us and come join our family toward the end of the year.
Dad told your Paw Paw and my wonderful Bri-mom over the phone. Paw Paw was speechless, Dad says, literally speechless. Bri-mom squealed, though! (There was a lot of squealing among the Gliddens and Heltons this day.) They were also so happy for us, and promised not to tell Uncle James or Uncle Thomas, since Uncle Thomas went to school where I worked and we wanted to wait awhile before word got around with my students that you were en route.
I haven't told my mom or dad yet, but I'm thinking of something extra special for them. I don't want to wait too long though! I'm excited. And I know I should wait until you've been with me a little longer, but I just want everyone I know to cheer you on and pray like crazy so that you'll grow, grow, and grow!
My thought for you today?
When you pray, it's okay to pray for yourself ... but always pray for others too, and pray for others with your whole entire heart. Be willing to sacrifice for others. Tell God that you know who He is, tell Him that you know He never changes ... because He made us in His image, and He loves and cares for us so much ... so we should love and care for others in the same way. Never forget that.
Little love, this is going to be hard. It's a big change. I want to be a perfect mom, and I know I won't be, but if I can't be a perfect mom, I hope that in all my imperfections, you are still a really, really happy kiddo.
But at the same time, you know ... it's easier to be a happy kiddo than it is to be a well adjusted, happy adult. So that's my biggest wish for you. I hope your Dad and I can manage to do things in such a way that you feel safe, even when you grow up and move away. We don't want you to need anything but Jesus to be happy.
Financially, we're worried. Dad is still in school full-time so I'm the only one who makes money, and it'll be that way for a while ... things will be tight. But I'm crazy if I honestly thing that we won't be provided for. That's something we hope you'll see. We hope we can show you how good God is, and how much He just wants to shower us and care for us.
Anyway, that's all for now. You're only about the size of a poppy seed today and next week, I think you're scheduled to be the size of a blueberry or something. I'm just excited for you to have little eyes and fingers ... even if you still kinda look like an extra-terrestrial insect ... you're mine.
Once you get past the awkward, extra-terrestrial insect phase, you'll start to look more like you ...
... while you're in there, can you try your best to get yourself to look like Dad? He's the good looking one of the two of us. If you can do that, you'll be set for life. Just saying.
